Apocalypse for charity

What if you could prepare for the Apocalypse while donating to charity at the same time?

Imagine this:

For $100 a year Calamity-Charity delivers to your door a five-gallon (or more) bucket of various survival goods. Inside you’ll find 20-30 kilos of rice, beans, oats, wheat, and assorted flavorings and dried vegetables and proteins.

Now, in all likelihood, you probably won’t be using any of the contents in this bucket. And in fact, it behooves you to NOT use it. Because after six months, Calamity-Charity will delivery to you a NEW bucket, and take the old sealed bucket away. If you renew your yearly subscription, every six months you’ll get a brand new bucket of survival food.

But not only that… Because you DONATED your first sealed bucket you get to write off its cost of $50.00. If you renew your subscription you get to write off ALL $100 as a charitable donation. AND STILL get to keep your third survival bucket (which gets replaced on your anniversary and then again… and so on and so forth.)

And here’s the bonus part: that food that Calamity-Charity carted away after six months? Yeah, it went to FEED THE POOR! It went to homeless shelters, emergency food supplies for natural disaster victims — it didn’t get thrown out — it got used by those in need.

And if, by the extremely unlikely scenario you need to use the food? Well, you’ll have guaranteed fresh grains ready and waiting for your use.

Sounds like a pretty good business model no? Get in on the Apoca-porn industry, provide a potentially life saving service, and create a charity system all in one!

 

 

 

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3 responses to “Apocalypse for charity

  • Anony Mole

    If I donated to you a box of donuts would others feel less guilty “stealing” one from you knowing that they were a donation? Do gifts like that somehow get detached in peoples minds from ownership/responsibility? “Hey, they were free to him, he won’t miss a few here or there.” ?

  • Duke Miller

    Hi A. Mole,

    In my old life we had a saying: “Only three percent of all aid actually reached the intended target group.” Catchy phrase, huh? I had a donor tell me once that as long as the government didn’t steal more than 25% of the Food for Work wheat, we shouldn’t say a word. As for stealing cash money in emergency relief operations, another guy told me: “War has a way of eating money and theft is but a mere burp.” On and on it will go until it stops whenever the fuck that will be. Thanks. Duke

  • Dr Martina Feyzrakhmanova

    You will be a gazzillionaire this time next year, Mole 🙂

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