Hey Intel – telecommute!

I know this guy, see…

He just had an interview with Intel. Well, he almost had an interview with Intel.

He drove out to the Hillsboro, OR campus, a huge place covered with blacktop which, in turn, is covered by cars. It took him nearly an hour to drive there from his home, in not quite rush-hour traffic. This guy see, he’s used to telecommuting. Been doing it for a decade; like it’s the 21st century way to program right?

So he gets there and he’s like, burnt out by the travel, already he’s burnt out. He’s dressed like no one there, you know, like an interviewee, and he politely meets and follows the interviewer up to where he’s supposed to be interrogated. Only, when he gets there, he balks.

Oh sure, he’s congenial about the interview, but when they ask him about his in depth business intelligence experience? Yeah, he just goes, “what about telecommuting?”

They go, “sure if you, like, break your leg…”

(Intel. Fricking INTEL doesn’t, like, LEAD the nation in telecommuting as an option for their employees? WTF!)

Well, my guy, he goes, “I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m spending nearly two hours in the car commuting to and from this job.”

The Intel people are stunned. “What?” they’re thinking? “This guy doesn’t want to kowtow to Intel?” (my words — not theirs.)

So they pretty much go, “Welp, I guess this interview is over.”

And my guy, he goes, “Yup, sorry to waste your time (but, like, I wasted WAY more of my time getting to and leaving from here — anyway.)”

~~~~~~~

What is wrong with this country’s technological corporations that they cannot seem to trust their employees enough to allow them to forego the arduous, unproductive, stressful commutes in cars — and just let them work from home? Home, where every damn one of them has a high speed internet connection that could serve just-fine-thank-you for getting their work (namely bits) to and from said corporations servers.

It’s time we revolt!

Bit Bucketeers Revolt, BBR, BBR, BBR!

Face it – if you’re not bitching about the fact that your job could just as well be done from the privacy, security, and comfort of your own damn home, you sir, you madam, are part of the problem.

BBR BBR BBR!

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4 responses to “Hey Intel – telecommute!

  • Anony Mole

    “Help wanted. Programmer / designer wanted for state-of-the-art Silicon Valley telepresence software company making collaborative work easy across geography and time zone. Must be willing to relocate to San Francisco.”

    http://www.theverge.com/a/verge-2021/marc-andreessen-horowitz-verge-interview

  • Anony Mole

    “This guy” apparently has been out of the market for some time, telecommuting for many years from the security of his home. It may be the he was jaded at having to re-enter the market, that he had to drive all that way, and that he really may have not been serious about the position in the first place.

    However, that’s no excuse for Intel, nor any information shipping company in this country to play Lord of the manner over their employees and force them to surrender a huge portion of their lives to suffer in a vehicle.

    It may be a lame lead-in excuse to use this guy’s experience as the scapegoat for this post. Regardless, it’s time to revolt.

    If you think about it, the fact that most corporations DON’T promote telecommuting means that they DO NOT trust their employees. In this day and age, there is just no reason not to actively encourage people to work from home. Secrets? Classified information? Clearance? Face2face? Group2group? What are these if not technological problems that companies have already solved when dealing with globalization. With traveling sales and executives. With federal and state contracts. Let’s face it — there is NO EXCUSE.

  • Steven Jackson

    You wrote a great article (the breakdown in the comment section was accurate and well presented too) but as pretty much anyone knows…. Intel works on a lot of sensitive projects. If you consider it from a security standpoint remote work at that company is impossible. “This guy you know” was told that ahead of time before the interview that remote work was not possible, so I’m really surprised he showed up thinking that was even on the table. There are a lot of companies that allow remote work but sometimes the job requires face to face collaboration or it involves sensitive /classified information. I hope this candidate did not go through an agency he could have really burned someone’s reputation just to make his point because again, he was told or should have known ahead of time that Intel is a no remote work job especially for a new hire that has yet to prove to Intel how trustworthy they are.

  • Anony Mole

    Why do information workers around the state continue to drive to work?

    I. Have. No. Idea.

    There is no viable reason to insist that information workers work behind a desk at a company office rather than behind a desk at home. None. I’ve telecommuted for 10 years now. I’ve saved myself and my family and the environment untold thousands of dollars in travel costs, lost time and pollution.

    I submit that the State of Oregon pass a bill to penalize businesses which fail to provide for telecommuting options for employees.

    This tax will apply to the number of information workers, those workers who spend 3/4’s of their work day working on a computer. For every mile over X miles of average commute distance a company will pay a commute tax of:

    Workers x extra distance x tax x days of the month = $tax
    IWs x ECMs x ECT x 20 days/mo = $total tax due

    IW = Information worker
    ACD = Average commute distance
    ECM = Excess commute miles = average IW commute – ACD
    ECT = Excessive commute tax

    If we assume an average of 10 miles for the average information worker commute.
    And we assume a tax of $1.00 per mile per commuter.
    We assume 20 days in a month.

    200 employees x 3 miles x $1.00 x 20 = $12,000 / month
    20 employees x 5 miles x $1.00 x 20 = $2,000 / month
    10 employees x 2 miles x $1.00 x 20 = $400 / month

    The problem comes with enforcement. But this might be easily done by a traffic officer, like a meter reader, who would scan through a parking lot, read each license plate, identify the home address of each car and determine the distance driven. If the average is under 10 miles, no foul. If the average is over 10 miles then the tax is tallied for that day for that company.

    Alternatively, the tax could be applied to each driver who would petition their employer for reimbursement.

    The point here is to make the tax painful enough to encourage all companies to support telecommuting. Getting cars off of the road benefits every Oregonian. Lower road wear and tear, lower pollution levels, higher productivity, higher road speeds for shipping and emergency.

    Telecommuting just makes sense. The State of Oregon should find ways to pressure businesses to reducing their commuting burden.

    Thanks,
    Concerned Oregonian

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